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How to Handle Difficult Conversations With Members of Your Wedding Party | Atlanta Wedding Planner

Hello and happy Thursday!

I hope you are having a fun and productive week. I’ve been pretty busy this week, both with my business and personally. My days have been filled with client and vendor meetings, venue visits and client related tasks all while my husband and I are decorating and putting together our new home. And you know what? I LOVE it! Sometimes I wake up and think to myself…”wow, I actually get paid to do this!?” I’ve done this at least once this week.

Owning and operating my wedding planning and design firm is very different than what I was doing full-time this time last year but it shows that if you’re truly passionate about something, believe in your abilities and work hard towards it, you can do anything! I truly love what I do and I appreciate my clients who trust in me to pull their wedding or special occasion together.

I also love hearing from you through cyber space. I get a lot of questions sent to my Facebook page that I like to take the time to answer either directly via Facebook or on my blog. No question is a “dumb” question. In fact, you’ll be surprised by how many people may have the exact same questions you do.

Today’s question is about tattoos and how to structure a conversation with someone in your bridal party about covering up their tattoos up. Here is the question I received:

Hello Bisola,

How are you? I have a question I hope you can answer for me. I have a bridesmaid who has a lot of tattoos on her arms and I am having a very formal wedding and would prefer she covers them up. The bridesmaid dresses are strapless so I’m not really sure what I should do. How do I approach this situation without hurting her feelings?


First, I’m doing awesome. Thank you for asking. I hope you are doing great as well! This is a good question and I’m happy to hear that you want to ensure that your approach does not offend your bridesmaid.

If you’re having a formal wedding, I can understand why you would want tattoos covered. Here is a breakdown of how I tell my clients to approach situations like this.

First, schedule a time to meet with her in person to discuss the wedding. If she lives out of state or very far from you then schedule a Skype call. Being face to face is always better than a phone call or God forbid a text message (big no no)! You can read her facial expressions and body language and determine if what you are saying is offensive to her or not.

Start the conversation with something positive for example, how much you appreciate her agreeing to be in your wedding party and how much you appreciate and value the amount of time, effort and money she is contributing to being there for you on your wedding day.

Then, get to the meat of the conversation. Explain to her that because you are having a formal wedding you would prefer that she covers up her tattoos on the wedding day and ask her how she feels about that. Asking her this question will let her know that you are considering her feelings and that you actually care about how she feels. After you ask her this, she will likely not have a problem with this, assuming that she is a close family member, friend, etc. of yours.

After this, explain the following options for her. You could narrow this list down more depending on what option you are more confortable with and then communication that option to her.

  1. Tattoo Makeup – There are some great makeup brands that make products specifically for tattoos that you can purchase. You could also ask your makeup artist if he/she can apply this for you on the day of. Make sure it will be included in the service you pay for. Some makeup artists charge more for this service.

  2. A shawl – You could purchase a shawl or cover up specifically for one bridesmaid or modify your bridesmaids dresses for all of your bridesmaids to include the shawl if you don’t want her to stand out. I’m assuming she is only a bridesmaid based on your question above but if she is a matron or maid of honor then this might be a great way to distinguish her form the other bridesmaids while also covering up her tattoos.

Lastly, thank her for speaking with you and being cooperative! Believe it or not, your Bridesmaids don’t have to comply with your every request.

And that should be it! I hope that was helpful to you and I’m sure if you follow what I outlined above your conversation will go smoothly.

Next week, I’ll be talking about how to reserve a room block for your wedding guests and also alternative accommodations for your guests.

Until then, continue to dream big and stay inspired! I know I will!

- BE

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